The Futile Search

Short Stories, Uncategorized — By on November 19, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Ysabella Manlangit, 18 November 2011

The feelings I had were unexplainable, though I thought I was prepared for this moment. I had to be; after all these years it was all I ever hoped for. My eyes panned towards the window steadily focusing toward the countryside. The vista was serene, a contradiction to the emotional storm brewing inside of me. Excitement, fear of rejection, hope and anxiety all bottled up inside. I let out a sigh as if to release a bit of tension. Finally, the train halted and simultaneously, a sea of faces got up from their seats eager to exit the musty carriage. I held out a photograph of her towards the light; silently talking to myself saying- I am finally going to meet the person behind the face…

A biting breeze welcomed me as I stepped out of the station adding to the tension inside of me. My boots sank in the soft overlay of fresh snow as I made my way to the scribbled address on a wrinkled parchment of paper. Though the weather was unforgiving and bleak, residents of the town were warm and bright. It has been a long time since I have smiled this much, my face began to hurt. I finally reached the place; rows of elegant houses surrounded me. Each lit with glowing Christmas lights and draped in holly wreaths. “It’s okay if it does not turn out well” I whispered as if assuring myself.

I struggled with myself as I stood in front of the door, thoughts of turning back formulated in my head but I took one last look at the photograph and it pushed me forward. I needed answers; I wanted to know who I am. I knocked and waited; it seemed like eternity before the door flung open. I held my breath as my eyes fixated on the figure before me. A young woman in her mid twenties greeted me with her warm brown eyes similar to the woman in the picture. For some reason, I dropped the formalities and in my anxiousness I frantically showed her the photograph, which was fumbling, in my hand.

In an awkward reaction, she looked at the photograph and then shifted her eyes towards me. The cold breeze of air has cracked my lips and my throat run dry for words to even utter. “I’m so sorry but that woman in the photograph has passed away two years ago.” she replied teeming with regret. Those words were barely audible to my ears and it hit me like a brick wall. Though the snow began to fall, my palms began to sweat as my lips quivered to speak. Curiously, she reached out towards me saying, “How do you know my mother?” I shook my head and pulled myself from her grip, I ran from the softly lit houses, past the manicured lawns blanketed in the snow. The place seemed to remind me of a scene which I could never be a part of. The only person who holds the key to my existence departed again, only this time it was forever.

Her last words resonated in my thoughts, “How do you know my mother?” Owing her a response I bitterly uttered to myself; ” I don’t know your mother, I never did and I never will.” I struggled to catch a breath exhaling heavily. I lay on the blanketed pavement of snow and burst into tears. All these years till this moment, I was searching for answers to who I was and where I came from. The being who brought me into this world is no longer a part of it and would never be a part of mine.

I used to be comforted with the thought that she could be found somewhere sometime in this seemingly unforgiving world- which has now become a bleak yet improbable state of reality. All hopes and a lifetime goal with suspended anticipation were now dissolved in an instant…



  1. Rebecca says:

    WOW Ysabella what a beautifully rendered passage. I loved the way you perfectly created an amalgam of morose and hope.

  2. Edeline says:

    Ysabella, that was a very well written passage, with almost tangible emotions! 😛

  3. Nishi Joshila Gonsalves says:

    That was beautiful :)
    Well done Ysabella 😀

  4. rach says:

    And I have had the privilege of being a teacher of such a gifted writer!!! I literally travelled with the character to find what she was looking for. I am touched by the description!!

  5. Liam Rego says:

    I really feel what is happening, and I totally feel as if the whole thing is happening in my imagination. I understand the character’s feelings. but I don’t understand why

  6. youssef says:

    wow that’s the best piece of writing i’v ever read.
    (thumbs up)

  7. Timothy says:

    The story was very good and beautiful. I loved it because it lets the reader empathize with you.

  8. Rohit says:

    That story was amazing! It was decribed in such a manner, I could feel myself in the chracters’ place!

  9. It was like i was reading a published book by an author

  10. Adithya Nair says:

    Really touched my heart….amazingly written. Feels as if I am right next to the character….lots of emotions, empathizing with the character is really easy. Overall just amazing……

  11. ashirvaan says:

    A gripping story.I felt as though I was in the shoes of the character and could feel her every emotion.
    I especially enjoyed the description of the weather that greeted her as she got off the train.

  12. Moses Kazanji says:

    i was greatly impressed by this AMAZINGLY STUPENDOUS piece of writing and i hope you post more

  13. Rumail says:

    That was an awesome story.I could actually see everything happen in my head. This is one of the best stories I have ever read. The strongest emotions ever are present in this piece of writing. Just Lovely!

  14. Calvin jason says:

    That story was amazing so unimaginable so heart thumping, the emotions were so strong that i felt that the character was me !

  15. Viraaj says:

    the story and emotions touched my heart and i felt like i was in story.
    i loved it. truly amazing!

  16. Absolutely brilliant it just gave me a heartwarming feeling inside of
    me it enlightened me

    Keep up the spectacular work

  17. Aaryan says:

    one of the best stories i’ve ever read truly well crafted I could not create an equally crative novel
    in a million years :)

  18. David Joshua says:

    I felt all the emotions of the character while I was reading it. Beautifully written with a sense of sadness yet hope. Brilliant!

  19. shashi says:

    what a story. never read one like this. its just unbelievable!

  20. David.v says:

    this is a very marvellous,overwhelming descriptive text that is mind blowing and I think, you deserve a very big round of applause.

  21. Asher says:

    The story was full of emotions and it was very well planned out i would love to read something like this again.

  22. Ahmad says:

    I could feel the character narrating to me
    Any planz to become a writer :p 😀

  23. Ishan Raj says:

    The way you described the setting made me feel that I was really there watching the story unfold.

  24. Ahmad says:

    Nice job specially the snow,the houses and the feeling

  25. Aryan Tiwari says:

    Truly a spectacular piece of writing. It empathizes with a character. You feel as if you’re the person themselves. I felt all those thoughts and emotions coursing through my mind and to conclude, a lot of figurative language, punctuation, emotive language,and a lot of sensory language.It lightened up my day and made me feel that I want be amazing at english and want to come up with something like this. 10 out of 10

  26. Aryan Tiwari says:

    Very emotional story, such mixed emotions and so much pain in the writer’s words. It was so captivating, must say a beautiful piece of writing.

  27. imraan says:

    Words cant explain how outstanding your work shines,your text takes the cake and deserves to be one of the toppers!im really startled the way you used such vocabulary that it left me speechless 😉

  28. france says:

    It was truly a spectacular piece of work, that i felt the character`s pain and disappointment’s course through my physical and emotional thoughts.

    You empathized the character very well while the setting even better! Your work must be published and red in public and should be rated of ’10 out of 10′.

    You have left me both curious and eager about the next part of this wonderful story. You must had a great amount of motivation and inspiration, for you to write as mind-blowing and fantastic work?

  29. dw says:

    Ok honestly this is amazing!!

  30. MK says:

    WOW,amazing descriptions!!!!

  31. Miles says:

    I really liked the story very much.
    That was interesting.
    It inspired me.

  32. samay bhatia says:

    hey ms rachel this such a beautiful comment for me

  33. Ali.mohammad says:

    WoW,i dont know what to say …:) i am speechless!!!

  34. sina says:

    wow you have use lot of vocab and description :] even you have shown your feeling very well.

  35. Ryan l says:

    This was an outstanding piece of writing.Vocabulary and descriptive words gave us detailed vision of the scene and the emotion of the character.

  36. Denis says:

    It is a very great work! Beautiful and deep description!It`s like I was in this girl`s shoes.

  37. nikolay says:

    i like the story.It is a good work and i was enjoying reading it.

  38. samay bhatia says:

    hello i liked that yesterday for the lesson
    i am speech less in that <3

  39. Parmis says:

    Im stunned.Perfect as usual !

  40. Ysabella Manlangit says:

    I’m humbled by all your lovely comments! Thank you so much, reading each one simply encourages me to continue pursuing my passion for writing. A special thanks to Ms Rachel who’s been so encouraging and inspirational in spurring my love for the language. I’m so honoured to be a student of yours.
    And to each and everyone of you, I’m sure you’ll be able to write such great pieces as long as you’re passionate about your chosen subject or themes. I’d love to be able to read some of your works as well! :)

    Again, a big thank you to all!

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