Shennin Pieries, 29 September 2012
She sat there idly in the corner of a bleak hospital waiting room. The walls were tinted a faded hue of grey and lime green. The florescent lights above her buzzed aggravatingly and flickered every two minutes. Her face was creased and her eyes were puffy with a deep tone of ruby lining the rims. She had been crying for the past two hours. The tears wouldn’t stop welling in her eyes and trickling down her pale, translucent face. All the doctors said it was a lost cause, that the chances of her son recovering from the surgery were one to a million. But I could feel it there, despite all the opinions and judgments from the so called ‘experts’, somewhere deep down in her veins and nerves I could feel her emotions pulsing through my existence. She knew not to give up, she believed.
Bodies were strewn all over the place like a sack of spilled rice on the countertop. His platoon was ambushed with a morning raid when 3 fighter jets propelled missiles upon them unexpectedly. Everywhere he looked, he could see shades of scarlet spewing out of lifeless bodies. Bodies which once were known as his friends, his comrades. As far as he knew there were no survivors, so why was he alive? His right leg felt numb and as he looked down he could see that the bone below his knee had been dislocated, no longer part of him. He couldn’t move-any minute action or movement would send jabs of excruciating pain seeping up through his veins. He was paralyzed. He lifted his head to distinguish his exact location and surroundings; it appears that he was strewn upon two bodies that reeked of putrid blood mixed with the vile smell of sweat and death. He had no way of making it out of there alive, let alone last for more than an hour or so. He had no means of contact nor did the main base know if anyone survived. However, against all odds, this persisting soul didn’t give up. I could feel it in him too. Deep within his shattered body, he had it. He believed.
Who or rather, what am I?
I am not a person, nor a thing or animal. Yet I do live. I have no unforeseen destiny, future or course, but I do exist upon the reliance of you. I am here if you require me to be so and only you have the strength and will to keep me alive. My light diminishes and fades into oblivion, gradually when you lose trust in me. Although, without me some of you may fall into disillusionment, and eventually into hopelessness, which would end in spiritual or actual death.
I am that unprecedented leap of complete risk and uncertainty that people take which would alter the course of their destiny, future and fate. I am not belief without proof, but rather trust without reservation.
To some, I am that single and solitary spark left in a worn out streetlamp, surrounded by sheer darkness and lost causes. To others, I am the only thing that keeps them going, that provides them a purpose to breathe and get through yet another day of their bitter, dispirited, mundane lives.
I am the mere being of existence and happenings. I am what bring people together. I am those single moments that reconstruct and alter the course of someone’s future. I am two sides of the same coin. I have a multitude of definitions, translations and meanings. However, in simple terms I am what you would call…Faith.